Baby G says, “I know you love me, but I need more…”
- I need a secure attachment. For me to feel safe and secure, I need you to manage your stress, look and listen to my cues as best as you can, and consistently soothe me. What makes you feel good, may not make me feel good.
- You may not always understand what my cues are hinting at as I am still learning to communicate. As long as you continue to recognize it and try to repair it, our bond and secure attachment will grow even stronger because I know you care 🙂
- I want you to be more responsive to me. I will not be “spoiled.” On the contrary, I will trust you and become more independent as I get older.
- You will always be my secure attachment, but I am able to connect in a loving manner with those that take care of me. You will always be my #1.
Tips for creating secure attachment from Baby G
- Learn to understand my unique cues: Watch my facial expressions and body language. I may want to be held or I may be cold.
- I am relying on you to figure this out over a period of time. Listen to my sounds — I may have a choppy wail when I am tired, but a low short outburst of crying when I am hungry.
- Pay attention to how you touch me and how much pressure you are using: The gentler your touch, the more I am comforted.
- Sounds, movements and environments I like: soft music, being rocked or carried outside
- Fusses: I fuss when I am teething or sick. Please continue to soothe me and be patient as you are doing all of the right things. I just do not feel well.
Attachment activities include, but are not limited to:
- Bottle feeding. You can form a special bond with your infant when handling feedings and diaper changes by looking into baby’s eyes, smiling, and talking.
- Talking, reading, or singing to your baby. Even though your baby doesn’t understand what you’re saying, hearing your calm, reassuring voice conveys safety.
- Playing peek-a-boo and mirroring your baby’s movements.
- Mimicking your baby’s cooing and other vocalizations.
- Holding and touching your baby as much as possible. You can keep baby close by using a front baby carrier, pouch, or sling during daily activities.
- Letting baby feel the different textures of your face.
When babies develop a secure attachment bond, they are better able to:
- Develop fulfilling intimate relationships.
- Maintain emotional balance.
- Feel confident and good about themselves.
- Enjoy being with others.
- Rebound from disappointment and loss.
- Share their feelings and seek support.
Final advice from Baby G:
- You do not have to be the perfect parent. Try to do your best and it is okay if you do not always understand what your baby is communicating to you. This takes time.
- What makes attachment secure, rather than insecure, is the quality and responsiveness of the interaction with your baby and a willingness to notice and repair a missed signal.